MTWorld:
Paraprosdokians
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Paraprosdokian is a long strange
word, but it is a legitimate word nonetheless. According to
Wikipedia, a paraprosdokian is "a figure of speech in
which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising
or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener
to reframe or reinterpret the first part." Paraprosdokian
are often used to elicit a humorous reaction or to add drama
through the interjection of an unexpected twist to a sentence
or dialogue.
Paraprosdokians can be a lot of
fun to create and to read. Here are some of our favorites:
1. Do not argue with an idiot. Those
watching will not be able to tell which is which.
2. The last thing I want to do is
hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them
speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both
be wrong.
5. We never really grow up; we only
learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is
right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato
is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin
with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person
is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus
stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk,
I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career.
Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application,
in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put
'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault,
I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to
men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and
a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man
is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually
another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign
of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute
to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive again.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but
it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between
cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now
I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn
something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target,
shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used
to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except
from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make
you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you
a car.
26. Where there's a will, there's
relatives.
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